My Super Powered Life

So today’s post isn’t your conventional “If you could choose a super power then what would it be” and leave it at that. No that’s boring…this post is about something different. I’m asking everyone what super power they would choose if they could emulate any super hero’s special abilities. And how they would use it in their daily lives. Now don’t you think that’s something interesting and different for a change? I think its pretty obvious who I would select. Because this persona has always been a favorite of mine and I’m sure the people who know me are rolling their eyes right now at my predictability. You know what! Deal with it people…

So let’s see if you can guess and I promise you that I’m not going to make it hard. It involves lots of rage, heightened senses, adamantium claws and extreme regenerative abilities. Got it yet?…Yip its Wolverine! He’s my first choice as a super hero because he’s tough, abrasive and is a no holds barred “take it as it comes” man. Who in their right manly mind wouldn’t his abilities and macho mentality. He practically oozes awesomeness from his pores.

Yes, OK ladies calm down. I know what you are thinking although it’s off topic. Hugh Jackman is a hottie for a manbear but he’s only acting the part and I’m sure Wolverine is much more of a bad boy. Which is the point of this discussion. If Wolverine is marriage material…Then A:) You have issues and B:) That’s a discussion for another time. So let’s move on you vultures.

Here’s why I think it would be a great to be Wolverine:

  • I would be able to track down and skewer that damn random cat that’s doing acrobatics in our house at night
  • I’d be able to braai with my claws and not have to worry about burning myself. Very practical if you ask me
  • My woman could literally act out her vengeance instead of describing how she always wants to disembowel me. Durable manbear now comes with healing powers
  • I could live out the movie Taken in reality if someone ever kidnapped my son. “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.”
  • I’d live a long healthy life and be able to play catch with my son instead of potentially passing out from exhaustion or burning in to pile of ash from exposure to sunlight for longer than 5 minutes. No I don’t sparkle at the moment
  • Being a human lie detector by using heightened senses obviously has its benefits. Enough said there
  • I’d always look good and never have to worry about those two grains of rice I ate the night before. Carbo loading is a bitch but it’s nothing when your body is continuously digesting itself to stay young
  • My hair would look cool no matter how I woke up because it grows in to the shape of a wolfs ear all by itself. Even though an actual Wolverine looks comparatively like a ferret on steroids

In hindsight, it might be a bad idea when I think about it:

  • I might accidentally impale the woman with my adamantium claws if I dream of a battle royal with Thomas The Tank Engine in my sleep. That would be a pain in the ass
  • I’d have an insatiable expensive appetite and I’d drive my woman nuts. Due to demands for an entire sheep at supper and at least 20 Yorkshire puddings. Regeneration will do that to you #FML
  • Having heightened senses is awesome until you realize that means everything you smell is like a 100 times more potent…Gross
  • My woman and son would get older while I stayed the same. It’s not natural for dad to look the same as he did 20 years ago. Bonus for the mom though I guess…?
  • Keeping my claws sharp would lead to unnecessary maintenance and my woman would eventually want to paint them as a nail fashion accessory
  • I probably would have ended up in Jail a long time ago because of all the people I’ve wanted to impale over the years. Being fueled by high levels of testosterone would not help me either
  • There would be no Charles Xavier to guide me and I wouldn’t have cool tights to wear like the Xmen. So I’d just end up looking lame in counseling sessions with jeans and a checkered shirt. Wolverine’s fashion sense isn’t one of his greatest powers unfortunately

And so, as the legendary uncle Ben once said. “With great power comes great responsibility.” Nothing is as simple as it seems and there is no perfect scenario that you could make work irrespective of the hero you choose. Sometimes being human is a super power in itself and is more than enough to make things work. But let’s not make this in to a philosophical foot note. The goal here is to have fun and enlighten each other.

What would you chose as your super power and how would it apply to your daily life? FYI…I AM GROOT is not a super power. You have to be more specific than that. Feel free to share your thoughts…

The Wolverine (2012)Hugh Jackman as Wolverine

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